When I was a lass
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When I was a lass |
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To the tune of "When I was a lad" from H.M.S. Pinafore by Gilbert & Sullivan
When I was a lass
I served a spree
apprenticed in a
public library.
I worked in ref’rence
and in catalog
handling patrons dumber
than the average log.
(she had patrons dumber
than the average log)
But that sort of life
ill-suited me
so now I am the head
of my own library.
(and that sort of life
ill-suited she,
so now she is the head
of her own library)
I soon bailed out
for sanity’s sake
in the hopes that another
job I’d take.
With Follet Press
a job I took,
Counting all the words
that were in kiddie books.
(she counted all the words
that were in kiddie books)
I counted those words
so care-ful-ly
that now I am the head
of my own library
(she counted those words
so care-ful-ly
that now she is the head
of her own library)
At the Hunt
I volunteered
and worked with books that
were extremely weird.
I worked so well
they appointed me
a junior member
of the library.
(they appointed her a member
of the library)
And that sort of life
so suited me
that now I am the head
of my own library.
(and that sort of life
so suited she
that now she is the head
of her own library)
I studied books of
Carl Lin-nae-ee
Describing every kind of
bush and tree!
I worked in ref’rence
and in catalog
and was nearly as happy
as a muddy hog!
(Was nearly as happy
as a muddy hog)
And those kinds of books
so suited me
that now I am the head
of my own library.
(and those sort of books
so suited she,
so now she is the head
of her own library)
But New York came to me
with such a deal
that it made this excited
Gray Cat squeal
“research librarian” —
a job so cool
to turn it down would take
a first-class fool.
(to turn it down would take
a first-class fool)
A fool’s not something
I could be
so now I am the head
of my own library
(a fool’s not something
she could be,
so now she is the head
of her own library)
I did a show of
art of botany
a hundred thousand people
came to see.
A hundred thousand people
saw my name
this brought my library
lots of fame.
(It brought her library
lots of fame)
I did this show
so famously
that now I am the head
of my own library.
(She did that show
so famously
that now she is the head
of her own library)
While I was at NYBG
an on-line catalog
I made to be.
It was the best
that I could give,
a catalog created by
In-no-va-tive
(A catalog created by
In-no-va-tive)
the project succeeded
so spec-tac-ul’ry
that now I am the head
of my own library
(the project succeeded
so spectacul’ry
that now she is the head
of her own library)
I returned in triumph
to the rivers three
and soon I was a member
of the Car-ne-gie
I got the books all on
the E.I.N.
And soon I was a-searching
for a new chall-enge.
(And soon she was searching
for a new chall-enge)
And that kind of chall-
enge suited me
because I was the head
of my own library.
(And that kind of chall-
enge suited she
because she was the head
of her own library)
But I grew bored
a bored Gray Cat
so I went to get a
Certificate.
I went to the great
University
who would certify me clever
as a cat should be!
(who would certify her clever
as a cat should be!)
For that kind of clev-
erness, you see
would keep me as the head
of my own library.
(for that kind of clev-
erness, you see
would keep her as the head
of her own library)
But Lo! Did I find
what in-trigu-ed me
a whole new field
the subject arch-i-vee
Of Authenitication
and Identity
and verifying
Contin’ous Custody
(and veryifying
Contin’ous Custody)
and this sort of field
so in-trigued me
that soon I was a student
for the Ph.D.
(and this sort of field
in-trigu-ed she
that soon she was a student
for the Ph.D.)
Of functional analysis
I made such a case
that soon I found a
clever hypothesis.
Of record-keeping
of accession lists
and all their various
assorted twists
(and all their various
assorted twists)
And that sort of work
so challenged me
that soon I was defending
for the Ph.D.
(and that sort of work
so challenged she
that soon she was defending
for the Ph.D.)
With my Ph.D.
I expressed a wish
To be the museum’s
archivist.
For the role of an
archivist, you see
is the preservation of
museum history.
(is the preservation of
museum history)
And this sort of work
so pleases me
I’ll do it and I’ll also
head the library.
(And this sort of work
so pleases she
She’ll do it and she’ll also
head her library)
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